In "The Simpsons". There was this show called "Little Big Mom" where it was the year 2000, and it was Season 11.

Marge gets her leg broken inside a ski lodge.

Lisa Simpson takes the role of Marge while Marge is in the hospital with her broken leg healing.

One of the systems Lisa comes up with is a "chore hat" where Homer reaches in and is supposed to do the chore he pulls out of the hat on a slab of paper.

ANYWAY, as Homer reaches in the hat he says "Come on bikini inspector… Scrub toilet. Ok that was a practice." He reaches in again and keeps saying "Practice.. Practice.. Ok here we go FEED FISH."

What I don’t understand, is why was Homer so intent on getting the "bikini inspector" job. What was he supposed to do if he got the "bikini inspector" job? Insect women’s bikinis from a drore or inspect women’s bikini WHILE the women are wearing them?

I don’t get it.
Could someone please inform me?
What did he expect to get to do with the "bikini inspector" chore?

It was incredibly strange.
First…I was back in my grandma’s house. She just died and we just finished moving everything out of her house. I’ve been crying so much because I knew I’d miss her as well as the house. But I was a little girl, maybe 4 years old. This is the part that kinda creeps me out…my music teacher was holding me like a father would. I was asleep in his lap, and he told me I meant so much to him and I’ve become such a large part of his life. I didn’t answer because I was so tired. He has kind of been like a father to me this year..through the tough times he’s given me pearls of wisdom and hugs. Then my mom took me and carried me upstairs to the room I used to sleep in when I visited.

Second…I was at this lodge with a bunch of my friends. It was night time and we were out talking on the playground and swinging. Then we went inside to get some dinner at the buffet which looked kinda like Applebees but with a buffet line. My friend was working at the buffet and I asked if we could hang out after she got off work. She said yes, so I waited.

Third…she took me to this holy looking, pure white, building. There were vampires EVERYWHERE inside and they were wearing red church choir robes. I was terrified that one would bite me and kill me. Suddenly my friend was gone. And I was standing in the middle of the building sobbing and screaming so much that the vampires crowded around me with concerned expressions. I had a fish tank filled with water in my hands and inside was a dead baby. (Pretty morbid, right?) and I remember screaming up to God, "Why?!" over and over again. I was so incredibly devastated, I’d never felt so sad in my life.

Any ideas? I’m kinda weirded out, I have no idea how to interpret these.

I want some fun sports games that use real rackets, etc., that can teach sports skills and keep active 11 year old and 5 year old boys when they can’t play outside. Tennis, Karate, Soccer, fishing, shooting, football, basketball–maybe even music and dancing for mom to get fit? Either plug into TV or what kind of gaming system?

My dad is in his mid-50’s and is VERY hard to shop for. He does not like sports, isn’t very technical, and is an old country boy. His only remaining pastimes are fishing and watching TV. I would buy him fishing gear, however he is very particular about what he uses (he’s returned almost every fishing item my mom has ever got him..) I really didn’t want to get him a gift card because I like to give more personal gifts. Any suggestions? I was thinking of spending ~0 on him.

we hope to stay in a small town, in a mom-n-pop motel, eat at local restaurants and markets, and hire a local with a boat to take my husband fishing. i know the "hot" lakes to fish, but can’t find lodging and local info.
thanx

I love the New Zealand culture and scenery and want to go there after my graduation next summer. My mom and I would be flying out of Tampa, Florida, USA. I was just wondering how much plane tickets, rental cars, hotels, and food would cost us and if this is even a feasible graduation present. Thanks!

My grandfather is very sick, and his wife got hurt and couldn’t take care of him for a couple of months. And my aunts live only 1 hr from him. And they wouldn’t even take time to go help him out and find a nurse to come and take care of him. So my mom flew 3000 miles to go help out. And my aunts excuse was she had a house party to throw and she couldn’t miss it. And than she is going on vacation. Should I send an email telling her how crappy she is? Or should I just send her a dead fish? Or should I ignore it?

im only 12 but this is some of my story.(its not done yet)

Its called my best adventure ever.

On a bright and shiny day,a family of five is in the house. There’s a sister named Cattie Parker,two brothers named Cade Parker and Dustin Nickles. The moms name is Jessica Parker and the dad’s name is Luis Nickles. The mom and the dad are going to a island and ther kids are going to Los Angles. "pass the juice!" says Cattie. "no need to be all mean about it." says Dustin.

Ok so my dad recently retired from work due to disability (depression, not physical). We live just me and him together, and our dog (mom passed away). Anyhow, all my dad does is sit on the couch and watch TV and sleep…A LOT! He is not overweight, and he can be physically active. He barely leaves the house, just to take the dog for a walk, or go get take-out. He likes to go fishing in the summer but now that its fall he will be glued to the couch for the next 6 months. His life is so monotonous I can see why he would be depressed, but his is not willing to go on vacation because he is claustrophobic and can’t fly. I was thinking of getting him a gift to help cheer him up. Some ideas I had was a gym membership in hopes that working out with get his endorphins going and making him happier. I was also considering a spa gift certificate for messages and general pampering he’s never had before. But I really want to get him something special, and just something that could improve his quality of life. I know that’s a lot to ask from a gift, but there has to be something that can cheer him up. Any ideas you have would be appreciated! Thanks in advance
Thank you all so much for your responses.. I wish I could give you all best answer!

What are the best ways to cope with panic attacks when flying? I literally got on a plane w/ my mom & my sister this morning, and completely freaked out, told the flight attendant I did not feel well and got right back off that plane (it hadn’t taken off yet of course). It really didn’t help that we were sitting for about 1/2 hour in a tiny plane waiting for the crew to de ice the wings. I just started feeling really light headed, pulse quickened, and thought I need to get off this plane NOW!! The majority of the fear was what if something happens to ME during the flight (stop breathing/faint/have a heart attack/etc) not about the plane crashing. I have a chest cold right now so that didn’t help either, worrying that I would start coughing & not be able to stop/etc. Anyways, I want to overcome this & go join my family on the rest of the vacation, and my husband even agreed to fly with me (even though the thought of spending a week with his sister in law & mother in law, and cancelling an ice fishing trip with his buddies, doesn’t really thrill him), and I feel fine NOW. But what if I panic again? What are some techniques people use to overcome this?
and to add – Medications actually make me more panicky (worry about how they will affect my body in the plane, etc) so I’m looking for non medication ideas