A Peace from the End
It started as a thought then progressed into a dream and then it
became an action that now is a nightmare. I overreacted, and became
too bold. I took a month off of the work, and flew down to the southern
most tip of Chile. The first of the month was when I would emerge
myself in the culture, and then the second part was an upscale
camping trip. The first part was great. Everything the typical young
American did I did. Perhaps I had too much fun because when it
came to the camping part I was a wreck. Two days into the outing I
fired the guide, which wasn’t the best idea considering I had no
knowledge of the area. She left all the equipment that I would need;
the only thing lacking was the instruction manual to it all. The first
night was fine, the second one not so much. It’s November, and
although I’m in South America it’s cold. The second night it rained,
and the tent wasn’t properly set up for rain, so it leaked. After this
incident I grabbed a map and hiked toward the ocean. Land wasn’t
treating me well. Once there I bought a small boat and planned on
taking it easy on the ocean blue. So much for that keen idea.
Most everything I knew about ocean currents came from my
freshman year of geography. It just so happens that I didn’t pay
attention too much in that class, so most of my knowledge is
conflicting therefore incorrect. But I always enjoyed winging it. Now
here I am in the middle of some ocean on a boat with just enough
water to get me through a few days and the only food is that in my
backpack. I don’t know how to properly drive a boat. This place that
was a paradise for me several days ago is now my lovely killer. If the
cold doesn’t kill me the loneliness will. After trying all the controls
written coincidentally in Spanish. I try the radio, but showing those
poor Mexicans how livid I am doesn’t seem to help. It just makes my
throat and head hurt. Then it gets me thinking about how I’ve treated
people my whole life. It’s best not to get started on some deep,
personal self-evaluation I tell myself, but I know the topic will again
come up. Best now to drift off to sleep on this cold stiff bed the only
thing between the unforgiving crystal clear haven and me.
A new outlook has been bestowed upon me. I’ve decided to just
take it easy. The scenery is astounding; one can just imagine the
outline of the land, but it truly is gone. Today is much warmer than the
previous days. The sun is shining brightly, and my spirits are high. I
lay on the bow of the boat dreaming about what I wish would be. I
imagine that I’m on a yacht on a warm day off the coast of the Virgin
Islands. The crewmen come by and ask,” Is there anything I can get
for you?” “I’m good on the sushi, but could you get me another one of
these?” I reply tapping the tall thin glass nonchalantly. The life is
good. This boat is hardly a yacht. The fish are hardly crewmen, and
dingy water is not even close to a chilled cocktail. Aside from the
melancholy reality today is a great day. And no clouds, rain, or icy air
can change that.
The dew covers my fingers, frost covers my hair, and my bones
are stiff with cold. Guess that’s what I get for passing out on the
deck. This boat is small with a cabin in the bottom. It has a clumsy
heater, but a nice stash of blankets in the closet along with a cheap
hot plate. I’m wondering if I should try using hot plate; a cappuccino or
some hot chocolate would really do the trick. But there’s a chance it
could start an electrical fire. Maybe first I should check if there’s a
lifeboat. If I’m stuck in a lifeboat I will surely die; a hot drink or
potential death? I grab the hot plate. As I sip the hot chocolate and
curl under the blanket I think of how to make this situation even
better. Some music I decide would just make this day. Turns out the
radio that I yelled at the Mexicans through only plays music. If only-
oh wait I got it- some English music comes on. I lay there sipping hot
chocolate, curled with blankets, and listening to the hottest songs
wondering what the other people are listening to this very song right
now, and what are they doing. Are they driving, at a party, getting a
phone call, or being idle just as I? I just think of all the resources they
have. I wouldnt’ but gray skies and blue under it. It scares me. Here I
am in the presence of no one. It’s just me out here. Me against
myself.
The warmth is all gone along with my hope. I know now that this
adventure will surely end in my demise, but I am at peace with it. I
know the end, yet somehow I am perfectly content with the verdict.
As the good book says,” Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we
die.” I shall certainly do the latter two for
